What am I going to type in this empty space? Almost every day I log into my computer and the first thing that I think of is "should i make a post today? what happens if i put the wrong things down." Every time I start pressing the 26 keys nothing seems to ever come out right. But still people read what I have to say.
I never get a chance to read my own posts. But when I do it seems to come out so clear. All my words seem to just flow together when in reality I might take 2 hours to get what I want to say down. My mind starts to float around and switch gears but they never get jammed.
When I first started all this it was to fill the void of that drugs had left. Now im a new guy, I dont even remember the last time I last did any drugs. But now that im off I find myself alot more happy being 'that guy' that everyone knows but doesnt talk. Thats the thing, I know so many people in my school. I think thats what you get when people want to go and skip with you just because you have weed all the time every day. By the end of the day you dont even remember that math lesson.
It was all fun and games when it came to classes. School was so easy I didnt even need to go to class half of the time. I still could get 80's when I was so messed up. Now I see how easy it is, its so easy that I hate doing the work. It just makes me feel stupid to have to do the work when I can do it without even looking.
So glad I havnt had school all week, it give me plenty of time to myself. I hate having to be around all those people. I only care about one person out of everyone I know. Most of my "friends" are people that refuse to not talk with me. I dont even talk allot inside of school but the moment that last bell rings I just want to run out of school just to talk as loud as I can. I dont even care if im standing on a stage, as long as I have my little group then we would run all around that stage. As long as I still have people to have fun with next year.
I just might give you a hug for reading all of my gibberish. But then again id rather finish watch .hack//sign before my mom wakes up. So just rest your soul until next time ;)
(this is what happens when i have nothing to write about)
Funny old thing, the 'blank page'. I spend all day and half the night thinking about stuff - with lots of "I must remeber to write that ..." but never get around to it - lots of 'stufftodo' nonsense - so don't you worry about posting every day, or not. That you write at all is the great thing. And what could you possibly write that is 'the wrong thing'? It's *your* blog, so write about whatever you want! If people choose not to read it, well that is their problem!
ReplyDelete<>If this is filling a void, that's fine. If you are managing to re-create yourself into a new guy, that's good, especially if you can do it and be drug-free.
<>If you really are coasting along in class, perhaps you can talk to your teacher and ask for a more appropriate, demanding programme. Following the 'use it, or lose it' principle, keep the little grey cells busy, or they could just turn into soup! And you teacher will support you, because if they have a high achievere in their group, it looks good for them!
<>And as for having people around you to have fun with next year - with a nature as generous as yours, I am sure you won't find yourself alone for long =]
a blog is a blog. not a service for the person next to you. come blog what comes to a blog, and dont think, just sit back, close the eyes and blog.
ReplyDeletecause a life is a life, a lie is a lie and truth is just a state of a mind. much fun, john
ReplyDelete