Ive had a lot of thing on my mind
1. I hate my brother more then anything in the world
2. School is coming up
3. My life is on a total stand still
4. I think I might go insane one day and the thought of taking hundreds of of pills sounds like fun
5. I found out my hands are good for something else other then jacking off
6. My b-day is almost here (the 20th of next month) and I havent done a thing with my life
7. I wish I had better friends
8. I wish I could be a better friend
9. I wish I wasnt so shy and anti-social
10. I pretend to be asleep so my brother and mom wont talk to me
11. I blast music into my headphones so I cant here them talk
12. I dont really like blogging all that much
13. I dont like the fact that people read this
14. Im thinking of closing my account
15. I sometimes wish I had more problems in my life
16. I like that people are instanlty attracted to me
17. I like that people like talking to me
18. I hate being at home but I have nowhere to go
19. I hate when people think im lieing
20. I wish I had more fears
21. I NEVER learn from my past mistakes
22. I wish I could find "Mr. Right"
23. I hate lists
24. I hate sharing the things in my mind
25. And I hate "i" now
Think of it like a 25 things about me. I might add on more later.
There's plenty of contradictions in that!
ReplyDeleteIt might be better to try two lists:
"I like" and "I dislike" then you could try one 'aspirations'
It is completely boringly usual to hate your brother!
It is pretty usual not to want to talk to people you live with.
You need to get out more and get to talk to guys whose opinions you haven't heard before.
If you can be looking outwards people will like you.
Who says they don't anyway?
you sound way cool me man
ReplyDeletenever change
never apologise
Nick
The final years of school are hard. You get to know your own needs and desires, while all the time you're trapped without your independence.
ReplyDeleteIt's almost been a year on this blog. That's some achievement. I come back because you've got something to offer. A spark of insight and a creative mind. That's worth sharing with people.
boo hoo!!!here we go again!!!get your ass out of the house if you feel confined; even your cat knows this...by the way, who says life is just going from one fun thing to another? you have to work at it young man...ever hear the phrase 'distance makes the heart grow fond'? -because you tend to appreciate things more once you get some distance between you and the things that bother you...maybe you'll never love your brother, I don't know, but I have 2 brothers and 4 sisters and as the years go by, they all take on varying degrees of importance in my life...nothing is perfect or guaranteed in life; maybe you think it would be better to have lived as an orphan?? Count your blessings kid and stop thinking that the world revolves only around you!! Go out and try extending a hand of friendship to someone in need; you might be surprised what happens to your own life as a result...
ReplyDeleteContradictory, indeed. That is part of what makes you so interesting, and frustrating at the same time. Tman makes a point, though I think he has forgotten that the only time in life whenit is reasonably excusable to be quite so ego-centric is yours! Perhaps he is actually older than me?!
ReplyDeleteThere is a danger sometimes that we consider life so mindane that we actuially create drama - trust me, life has enough drama in store for us all; there is no need to wish for or create more!
We all change over time, but our essence always stays the same. The essential you is wonderful - and as Nick suggests; you need never apologise.
It would be a pity if you went away; but if you do, understand that it has been a privelege and a delight to have known you.
G =]