It feel good to have those feelings about "him" over with. It took 3 long years and now its like he never even existed. When I see him walking down the halls, my heart doest drop and Im no longer afraid to tear up if I look up at his face. I can even listen to those sad love songs without thinking of him. I can even sing again. No longer will I ever be afraid of living my life!
Why, after 3 long and agonizing years, did I think he would come back to me? I passed up so many nice guys, so many lost relationships, and so many lost days thinking of nothing but him. I loved him so much and I gave him my heart and soul, I gave him everything he ever wanted. He took everything from me, and left once he thought I couldnt give anymore. So I thought It was my fault, because that thing we had didnt last.
Three years after we had met and said our harsh goodbyes I met someone who would open my eyes. Brandon was not like any other guy I had met throught my life, and because of that I fell for him. He was the first and only person that I had met, who was truly unique. If Brandon had taught me one thing, it was how to live again.
When he left I decided to not let myself think about it for too long. I started talking to more and more guys. I also started sleeping around a little bit.
It was just last week that I met Richard. I dont know much about him, but I do know that he likes me. He spent the night, last night and I expected to fuck him. All night long I didnt even touch him, I wasnt scared of rejection or afraid that he would run out. I was afraid of falling in love. It happend while I was laying down on my bed as I watched him play my guitar. As he looked down at me with those dark forgiving eyes, I couldnt help but get the feeling that he was lonelier then I had ever been.
I knew he didnt want to fuck so I didnt even make a move, instead I decided to lay down and watch him. It was nice being in the same room with him, its been so long since ive had those feelings for another guy. It was like I was part of the universe again, and we were part of the stars, with you looking right at us. I was so sad when he left in the morning.