I want to talk about that guy from the 3rd 'im no poet'. Some people had asked if that guy was looking at me or my math work. Back when every thing was still fresh and new I think he only cared about my math work. 3 years later he is looking at me and isnt afraid to get half naked in class. I know he likes me, and he knows I like him. I dont have to guess, I know its that way. He is in the closet and doesnt know how to get out.
now on to different matters-
Its now thursday and today im going to have to talk to this guy I like. Im freaking out just thinking about it. I want to tell him so much, but I dont know how to say it. He only knows the old me from when I used to do drugs all the time. So I want to tell him ive at least stoped that.
Just being able to talk to him is going to be twice as hard because I got my lunch changed. Before I had the last lunch and I could just see him for about 3 minutes before the bell rang while we waited outside. Now Im so far away from that class, I will just make it before the bell rings.
bad news T_T
I tried not to drink after that last time but now its just going to get harder this weekend. Im going to my friends birthday party (yay!!!!) and she is going to have alcohol (shit). We will just see how things go and hope for the best!
I think im doing good with staying away from other drugs. This guy is always asking if I want some free weed and I can only say no. I have been close to saying yes a couple of times.
Sounds like you have a navigataion project - you can help this guy find his way, perhaps? i think if any one can, you can - i think he might be glad of your help.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to be at a party and not do what everyone else appears to be doing, but I am sure you won't be the only one not drinking - if you really don't care what other ppl think, then peer pressure won't make you drink or smoke if you don't want to. Just tell yourself that you are 'beyond' that now, that you have grown beyond needing to. The strength is inside you, but maybe you will need to dig deep? I am sure you can do it.
Scheduling when you are going to talk to somebody is not always easy - think about ppl who have to juggle timezones, and you will get the idea. Sometimes you need to leave an offline message, tho i am not sure how you do that IRL? Maybe a job for your go-between?
Life can sometimes appear complicated - if only it was that easy!! Take care of yourself - G =]
I just reread most of your blog, especially the 'im no poet' posts. You write beautifully. Your writing conveys those moments so clearly. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteStay off the weed. Be proud, you're doing really well. You've got so much to offer.