So lately stuff has been happening with my family that would have made my life worse but it hasnt. Recently my brother was put into the hospital , and to be honest, i really dont care. If you knew my side of the story then you wouldnt care either.
I also told my mom that she neglects me. It wasnt as hard as I thought it would be, but then she tried to make it up by asking if I wanted her to buy something for me. :'(
I hate my room, it so ugly and Im never motivated to fix anything about it. This house isnt any better. Dont get me wrong, its not an ugly house. Its just that I hate liveing with my mom here. Its not like I can move in with my dad either. He has to take care of his wifes 3 kids plus my baby sister.
I was supost to meet bunny after school, she even told me to go by. Its not like I ask to go over that much, even though I would much rather be at her house then mine. I just wish she didnt base her life on her boyfriend.
Some of my teachers are stating to find out that im not stupid to do the work. I just hate it when they try and "motivate" me by saying "Your such a smart kid! Why dont you do you work? I know you can pass this class if you just try." Ive heard the same plastic lines used on other students who you cant even compare to me. Shit, now im starting to sound stuck up.
Im starting to get anxiety attacks. That sucks also.
(sometimes I wonder how im able to make my life seem so good and nice)
Being stuck in a place with people you don't want to be with is a recurrent theme across the blogosphere. In most cases, it is just a matter of time before you are able to do something about it - I think that applies to you: it's just a matter of realising that, and getting yourself as ready as you can to make the move, when you are able to. In the meantime, I hope you have the patience and courage to 'get on with it' until that time comes. You will be surprised how soon that time will arrive!
ReplyDeleteAs for anxiety attacks, I am not surprised you get them, in your current situation. The way out? It varies from one person to the next - some do drugs, some do fitness, others read or liten to music. For me, I try and keep as busy as I can, until I can withdraw into my 'safe space' which usually involves somewhere dark and my mp3 player, and do some dreaming.
Courage, patience, friends, and never, never, never give up!
G =]
whatever you do, don't turn to drugs; it's an unhealthy, dangerous choice that can make life 10 times more complicated, and my advice to you is to de-complicate your life and try to find just 1 good thing to enjoy every day. And, stop feeling sorry for yourself; it takes too much energy, looks bad on you, and causes you to miss out on opportunities and chances at love...Love, by the way, is out there for you, if you are open to it!! Good luck to you guy, stay positive as much as you can, and if you need to talk, let me know... Tony
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