Oh, how I wish I could hold your body in my arms. Im sick and tired of thinking about you but I cant help it.
By now it almost feels as if your not real. It feels as if the conversations between us are nothing but my imagination. I almost wish I had made you up.
Just another page from my diary. I was such a cry baby!
What's this? You two have been outed to the general population? If that is the case, I know how difficult that can be, and I hope you two can get through it and remain together.
ReplyDelete[hugzU] G =]
The longing, the desire which grows and grows to overwhelm you when you're powerless to give your love. I hated that time.
ReplyDeleteBitter
ReplyDeleteI just wanna hold you and tell you stuff changes man.
Your longing and desire and the ache that causes just come through so clear and seeing how I can't hold you all I will say is my hands always held out to you my friend.
Nick
did you hand write these? might be neat to see the scanned page ... I like the line "I almost wish I had made you up" that's some powerful stuff
ReplyDeleteonce, after I lost my first true love, I wandered down the dark, country roads where I lived, crying like a freakin' idiot, consumed with grief, completely destroyed...convinced that my life had ended. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, it seems so foolish now; love, however, can make a fool out of the strongest of us at one time or another. The sad part of that, looking back, is that it hardened my heart for a while, probably a desperate attempt at self-preservation...But, as it turned out, I didn't die from grief; life gave me a reprieve and I courageously carried on, determined to erase forever, the memory of that painful relationship! One year later, almost to the day, I ran into my ex in, of all places, a barbershop. It was, and remains, one of the worst moments of my life. Not only did he get his hair cut sitting about 4 feet away, he had his new love-interest(a girl this time) hanging over him like a cheap sweater the whole time in a purposeful attempt to prove his supposed hetero bent... Hmm...He never acknowledged me except in this strange new(to me) dance...
ReplyDeleteIt did help me in one way though- I realized that anyone that classless, didn't deserve the pedestal I had put him on!!!
Ah, to be a teenager again...how I envy you!!!
(he did give great bjs though)
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